Purgatory in Goa

As I've gotten older, I've come to appreciate my alone time and having a quiet place to find peace within myself.

This was NOT it.

I spent ten days in Goa essentially by myself. When I arrived at the hostel, my hosts informed me, there would be no one else aside from them after day number four of my stay. They also kindly gave me the option of going to another hostel if I wanted a more social atmosphere. I stayed and had an entire six-person bunker to myself!

My hosts were some of the nicest people. They were older- in their 40’s but they acted young and liked to party. One day when I was walking back to the hostel, they were driving in the opposite direction and invited me to go out with them. We went to a motorcycle bar and a club.

They introduced me to their friend, a decent looking and kind man who offered to take me around Goa- show me the sites, good places to eat and meet local folks. How nice of him...I truly do appreciate the guidance.

But all he talked about was HIMSELF.
The whole. Damn. Time.

It was astounding actually. He didn't ask me anything about me. And the few times I dropped a small something about myself, he would immediately revert the conversation back to one of his many achievements or things he liked to do. it’s an interesting mental exercise, to retreat into oneself while still being physically present. You know in the movies where someone is talking and the camera focuses in on the other person as all sound fades into a hush? Yeah, that. But it’s a testament to this guy’s voice, there were times when I couldn’t disengage and I was completely aware of the present moment.

What’s even more astounding is how someone can go on and ON about everything. It’s not even small talk or fluff…it’s like watching paint dry on a wall…but I’m the Great Wall of China and he deems it necessary to wax poetic to me like the next Karate Kid…on and off to no goddamn end.

I felt like I was suffocating and quietly imploding. And I could have taken it all in stride (which I did) but what really grinded my gears were several things:

1. He said repeatedly, "You have such a beautiful smile. I like your company." And I'm thinking: Oh really? I've barely said anything. It's taking all my willpower just to tolerate you. And you're my ride in an unfamiliar place, so I have to grin/ bear it till I get home to my Kindle.

2. There were a few moments of peaceful silence. I stress “moments”. He would look at the ocean and then back at me. At the ocean then back at me. I stared at him questioningly and he said in response: “I don’t know whether to look at the ocean or look at you. Both are so beautiful.” Oh god, is this his attempt at “game”? Props for trying, I guess? Smh…

3. At one point, we met up with a couple from a local hostel and went to a club. He took the guy inside to play pool and I stayed outside with the girl to chat while we stared at the ocean. After a good hour later, the boys come back and I mentioned I wanted to eat soon. He then says, “Oh we ordered a pizza in there and ate it already. Why didn’t you girls come inside?” Motherfucker, I’ve been dropping comments about food all day and you ate a pizza without me? Didn’t even bother to come for us and see if we wanted some?! It would have taken you two minutes to walk outside. I’m not a flowering plant you can just talk at…I need to eat too.

4. Even on the motorcycle, he would talk to me essentially the whole way. I kept saying, “I can’t really hear you right now because of the wind.” Instead of taking it as a hint we should have the conversation later, he would repeat what he said only louder. I still couldn’t understand so I just gave a noncommittal answer. Also, he would tell me he was cold so I would put my arms around him. As you can see, his subtlety and “game” is just a notch above his conversational skills.

5. On the way to dropping me back at my hostel he had the audacity to say: "I like you a lot. Will you come back to my place and cuddle with me?" And I'm thinking: You don't know a damn thing about me! How the hell can you "like" me? NO. F*CK NO.

TAKE ME HOME TO MY KINDLE! (Candis, this was one of those moments in life where I can honestly say, I would have rather eaten your ass WITH ENTHUSIASM…than cuddling with this guy for any length of time.)

I've politely but firmly told him NO, as well as reiterating, "I see you as just a friend and I like my space. Alone." There's more to this story but I want to end it with this picture. I took it while at a beachside restaurant...with him next to me talking about...himself.

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I know you'll look at this marvelous view and think, "Heaven is a place on earth." And It’s definitely true but I'm telling you...so is PURGATORY!

It's within an earshot radius of this guy.

**Can you relate? Have you ever met someone who talks too much or is self centered? How do you deal with those people? I’d love to hear your thoughts!