Girlfriend Material

The time I used a corny pick up line in an argument with my mother…

Mom: Why do you always wear the same shirt? In ALL of your pictures? Don’t I buy you clothes?! Haven’t I taught you anything?! It looks like a potato sack! What is it even made of?

Me: *shrugs* Girlfriend material? *smiles sheepishly*

This shirt was given to me for free by a liquor promo person at a pool party in Las Vegas 2015. I’ve taken it with me on every trip since and wear it regularly in my daily life, much to my mother’s chagrin and to the detriment of my travel photos.

girlfriend material.jpg

My mother taught me: People make their initial judgements based on how you look and what you’re wearing. You decide what you wear and it gives people a glimpse of who you are. Are you a POTATO?!

So, what does wearing the same shirt for the last 4 years say about me?

Why do I wear it?

Best things in life are free: I once drank the Kool-Aid for an MLM scheme and I remember someone told me, “There is no value in free.” as they parted me with my hard-earned money. Red Flag. I should have said, BULLSHIT. Free is absolutely awesome and priceless (ha, see what I did there?). I’ll be damned if I ever stop valuing free shirts, free hugs, free samples, free wifi, free will, free press, freeganism and good old fashioned All- ‘murican apple pie FREEDOM.

Easy to clean: I can wash it in a sink with some form of soap, wring it out and hang it + dries quickly and doesn’t get ruined or need special care. I initially thought of this as a “throwaway” garment so it became my default for messy activities, but this thing is durable!

The design: I wish almost anything else would be on the front, like a dreamcatcher or inspirational words. But nope. It’s a Captain Morgan promo shirt with the words “Sun’s Out, Rum’s Out”. Just a little, dare I say…douchey? IMO, bro. The funny thing is, I don’t drink. However, the lettering is aesthetically pleasing and reminds me of groovy 60’s fonts or James Bond movies. Neutral colors, simple design, can be worn with jeans, shorts, under long sleeves, or just by itself and it looks decent.

The fit: Freaking perfect. It’s airy enough for hot weather and not form fitting (which is perfect for a day of physical activity or walking in a country where the men tend to gawk at females). Yet, I do feel sexy in it on certain occasions. When I don’t wear a bra under, there’s a flash of side boob action or nips peeking through. If I’m in the mood, the feeling of the loose fabric grazing over my bare breasts is arousing. It’s all in how ya werk it, boo.

Simple lady with a low maintenance lifestyle: I regularly spend evenings drenched in sweat during BJJ so I’m constantly washing/ changing clothes. In the past, I’ve spent my days volunteering, adventuring outside or wandering a new city where no one knows me. I don’t have many activities whose fashion requirements necessitate anything more than casual wear.  I have exactly six pieces of make-up and two dresses which I use on occasion. Everything I carry needs to be of utility and fit in my backpack. Less is best.

What we’ve been through:

O Captain, my captain!

I’ve worn plenty of shirts before you and after you, but you’re the marriage, not the mistress. We’ve made memories , love and bad decisions.

All people are naked under their clothes and I feel safe being naked with you. You have my back… and my front. You let me wear you out through all my shenanigans and I can take you anywhere.

You’ve been there for the walks of shame, the cozy nights in, the parties at Echostage, trekking in Nepal, the streets of European cities, first dates and last goodbyes. You’ve been my tissue to cry on when my ex would yell at me, my face mask during Delhi traffic, my eye coverage for sunny hostel mornings, my sweat absorber after 90 mins of rolling in no-gi at Bali MMA and my “lingerie” for sexy time (the term used as loosely as your fit).

And I know that dumbass at the bar said you’d look better on his floor, but you look damn good wrapped around me.

Captain, thanks for being the ship’s sail to my life journey, my reason for not being on the skins team in ultimate frisbee and the thing I’d give off my back to someone in need.

You always have me covered.

Girlfriend Material

Mom, I know…the cringe and frustration is strong when I liken myself to Nas Daily, Mark Zuckerberg and Waldo, all relatively successful people in their trade and fashionably inept. You raised me to be chic in my appearance and a little more stylish in my fashion choices. You want me to be beautifully wrapped because I’m a great package.

And most of all, you want me to find a good man who sees and appreciates me..

This shirt doesn’t have the classiness of Chanel but to me it’s …resilient, versatile, comfortable, modest yet sexy, bold yet simple, low maintenance, playful and steadfast.

If this is what I choose to wear most days and what I wear represents who I am…well, what guy wouldn’t want a girlfriend like that? 😉

Photo: Alex Filippides