Happy Endings

Happy Endings ( Spa Therapy Compared to BJJ)

 You can read about my experience at spa school HERE.

Over the last six months of training BJJ and Spa therapy in Bali, I’ve come to appreciate the ability to exert myself in those different contexts…and the similarities they have. The dichotomy of being a lover and a fighter, the delicious ecstasy of pleasure and pain, the chaotic harmony of coordinating my mental fireworks with my corporeal movements, both being physically expressed in separate but equal disciplines.

My jiujitsu training gave me a slight advantage in learning massage sequences (throwback to learning slices in Gracie classes) and it tapped into the same part of my brain. I’m mentally learning a sequence of movements and physically applying them onto another person. I need to use proper pressure, timing and strength. I need to move my body in a strategic way to maintain my endurance and not hurt myself. I need to breathe and not panic. But unlike jiujitsu, I wasn’t allowed to choke my client while on the back. That’s just rude 😉

My spa school teacher would always tell me, “You need to slow down Muriel. You need to flow with your movements. Feel what you’re doing and move with your heart.”

With BJJ, rolling is a cooperative effort of pushing each other to the limits and respecting boundaries when the other person taps. It’s connecting, being close to someone, touching and being touched in places I don’t normally give people access to. It’s trusting the other person not to hurt me and ultimately help me get better. The same can be said for massage and the expectations a client has of me.

They both involve caring for another person. I need to be present with someone else and completely focused on what I’m doing, to be aware of their cues and adjust myself accordingly.  It takes a lot of practice and I’m still working on it.

I gotta tell you, I developed a noticeable breathing problem Tuesday-Thursday of every week in spa school. I’d hold my breath in panic mode trying to remember the sequences, how to move my body the right way, adjusting my technique in accordance with teacher critiques and executing everything ON TIME. Not too fast, not too slow. I felt like a white belt sparring for the first time.

Despite all this, I felt JOYFUL to be completely engrossed in learning. There’s a sweet spot of productivity and arousal that comes when the difficulty of something is in line with my skillset, challenging yet doable. The courses were rigorous and fun, which made the completion of every week that much more rewarding and cathartic.

Dear Lord, I’ve been needing that in my life. All of it. I don’t know what happened, maybe it’s the exhaustion from travelling or the need for roots and consistency…but I lost some of that passion in my BJJ. I felt like I wasn’t getting any better in terms of technique when I was training at Bali MMA. It’s not a knock on them, it’s just certain teaching styles aren’t compatible with my learning style and I wasn’t in the right place emotionally. That’s all.

Even though I was in best physical shape of my life…Jiujitsu over the last year has felt like sex without love. Like, I’m breathless, sweaty and sore after but I go home alone and feel empty inside despite all the endorphins. *shrugs*

I was in-love, alive and accomplished with spa therapy. I felt happy. I didn’t realize how much I was missing those feelings until I felt it again…and I want it back in my Jiujitsu.  Figuring out how is still a work in progress.

But it’ll come back… I’m hopeful. Because if there’s one thing spa school has taught me it’s this:

Everyone wants a happy ending.

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