Headlights in my Eyes

Headlights in My Eyes

By Muriel Palanca



My angel left me long ago so now to hell I ride.

I feel a burning coming on as bullets and flesh collide.

I laugh because I did my deed in order to gain their trust.

The car speeds off and in its wake I leave my mercy in the dust.

My days are filled with violence and my nights are caged by fear.

Salvation is a concrete thing but I know it is not here.

Deep inside I wonder why my life has led to this,

As my face gets pounded to the ground with their love in the form of a fist.

At least I found a family with a gang of crimson brothers.

I am blind to who’s my enemy but I know have others.

I do the things they tell me to because I’m tempted by their lies.

I’m blind to what I’m fighting for and it’s like headlights in my eyes.

They paint their colors into my skin with a needle leaving scars.

Now I’m branded as one of them and if I leave I won’t get far.

My rage is blazing in my soul as I mark brick walls with red.

Possession counts as what we own like the streets that have no end.

I take some drugs to get me high because it fills the hole in my chest.

With every shot of alcohol, I’m becoming less and less.

This endless battle is never won and the warriors can’t refuse.

I know I have nothing left but there is still so much to lose.

This underworld is consuming me with a fire as bright as sun.

I guess I’ll wait for judgment day when I’m at the wrong end of the gun.

*I made this poem as part of a criminal justice project. Our topic was gangs and gang violence.